Feeling good about being boring

Those of us over fifty can finally feel good about being boring.

When reflecting on the past, it’s easy to remember the excitement that accompanied turning points in my life. Starting with kindergarten and going all the way to retirement, nothing was boring except the last few weeks of summer vacations when I was a kid. Most of us my age looked forward to these milestones. They added zest to our lives.

But now I’ve reached the point where I’m less excited about future turning points. I want to enjoy the present — just as it is.  I’m not opposed to new experiences, though death as a new experience isn’t all that appealing.

According to a 2009 “Scientific American” article —  “Set in Our Ways, Why Change is So Hard”—  we’re most open to new experiences in our twenties. Our enthusiasm for exposure to the unfamiliar declines gradually until we hit sixty.

My wanting stability at this stage in my life is not unique to me. In “How happiness changes with age, becoming okay with being boring,” (“The Atlantic,” May 2013) author Heidi Grant Halvorson says we define happiness in more mellow terms as we get older. We change from operating out of a “promotion motivation — seeing our goals in terms of what we can gain, or how we can end up better off, to a prevention motivation — seeing our goals in terms of avoiding loss and keeping things running smoothly.” Yes.  A smooth-running life sounds just right.

The conclusion that our definition of happiness evolves over time comes as a result of the work of three social psychologists who analyzed twelve million personal blogs from writers of different ages. (Sounds like a fun job.) To describe their anticipation of future pleasures, younger bloggers used words such as “excited, ecstatic, elated.” Older bloggers were more likely to describe happiness as “peaceful, calm, relaxed, or relieved.” I’m on the same page as the older bloggers. These days happiness for my husband and me is going to Costco on a weekday morning instead of a weekend afternoon. Or watching the blue jays and squirrels fight over the suet feeder in the back yard. Or just getting a good night’s sleep.

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About stillalife

I retired June 30, 2010 after working for 40 years in the field of education and most recently doing school public relations/community outreach in a mid-size urban school district. I wrote for superintendents and school board members. Now I'm writing for me and I hope for you. In this blog, I offer my own views coupled with the latest research on how to preserve our physical and mental health as we age, delve into issues most of us over 50 can relate to like noticing wrinkles and forgetting where we left our keys, discuss the pros and cons of different ways to engage our minds and bodies after we leave the workplace, and throw in an occasional book review, all peppered with a touch of humor, irony, and just plain silliness.
This entry was posted in aging, changes after retirement, personal reflections. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Feeling good about being boring

  1. Becky Hashimoto says:

    I’ve recently reunited with some high school friends and they’re absolutely crazy fun. I can’t begin to tell you what being a member of this group entails, but here’s a hint. We’re going thru the alphabet A thru Z, and every time we get together we have a drink with the next letter. We’re on P now. Since I’m a recent recruit, I’ve missed a few. Apparently Flirtinis in Palm Desert practically did them in. They are individually and collectively outrageous. We’re doing the Polar Bear Plunge this year and have a whole lot of wild assed ideas for us turning 65 next year. Here’s to trying new things in order to be forevah young!!!

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