AI is messing with me.

Here’s my evidence.

Last week, using my early attempts at dictating* a scene for a mystery novel (a joint project with a friend), I ended up with about five pages of text.

I highlighted a few paragraphs and in an instant the words on those paragraphs changed. I have no idea what I clicked or didn’t click, but an AI must have gotten ahold of my words and turned them into something different. Sadly, the moment I read them I thought AI’s words made for more interesting reading.

I rushed to notify members of my writers’ critique group that I was retiring. AI won!

They, of course, talked me down off the cliff. Several people criticized AI writing as being wooden and one even created a list of what AI stood for, including Arguably Insane, Achieving Infamy, and Appropriately Inebriated.

But yesterday, when I began to write this blog, I decided to submit new paragraphs for AI to transform and nothing happened. I could not convince Microsoft’s Co-Pilot to make any changes.

I had no idea how AI got involved earlier, but I can show you the outcome. I don’t have my original scene, but it started something like this:

Greta takes long strides and quickly covers the ground between the Drumholz farmhouse and the mainstage, which is where she’s been told Terry is working. She wants to catch him before he runs off to the other stage, a concession stand, or even the portapotties. Today, her time is as valuable as his. 

More follows about Greta climbing onto the stage, encountering Terry, musicians, and enough items on the stage to cause her to stub her toe.

AI changed it to this:

Her thick boots thud against the grass, the air thick with festival buzz and distant laughter. Greta scans for Terry — a fleeting figure in a red ball cap — threading between amps and sound cables. She presses forward, weaving through technicians rolling cases and volunteers clutching walkie-talkies. The sun hangs low casting angular shadows across the wooden plans of the MainStage and Greta feels the pinch of urgency in her chest.

AI knew more about music festivals than I do. (I’m lucky to have a co-author who knows more than AI.) And it added more setting and punchier language.

But wait! That isn’t the end. Today, I remembered that months ago Co-pilot had been driving me crazy wanting to take over every paragraph and I had disengaged it, so I re-engaged it, highlighted a new paragraphs, and asked it to add more punch.

Eager to see my new and improved writing, I was taken aback by AI’s next communication, which was that it would never rewrite something for me without my permission. But this is exactly what it did two days earlier, when it was supposedly disengaged. I proceeded to post my new paragraphs and asked for suggestions for improvement.

Example of new AI’s pathetic attempts: Original: She (Sergeant Greta) knows Terry’s responsible for festival operations and hates to get in his way, but it’s best to grab him before he runs off and she can’t find him again for hours. Also, she has a reputation to protect. Twenty years have passed since she stood him up for their senior prom and a few guys are still talking as if she’s a ball-buster, when all she did was respond to a better offer in high school. Odd as it seems, the label pleases her when she’s dealing with a handful of troublemakers. Enhanced: Aware of Terry’s pivotal role in festival operations, she loathes interrupting him but knows it’s best to catch him before he vanishes for hours. She also has a reputation to uphold. Twenty years since she stood him up for prom, some still label her a ball-buster, though she merely accepted a better offer. Strangely, the label suits her when handling troublemakers.

This AI, in contrast to the earlier one, refused to rewrite part of a scene without asking my approval. And it could only come up with a couple of new words. And the new writing was wooden. Where is the AI that was a better writer?

This experience led me to ask what I was dealing with, an AI or a ghost in the machine?

Whatever happened convinced me that I shouldn’t retire from writing, not quite yet. Next step is to disengage AI assistance again. Maybe when it thinks no one wants its help, it will return to better rewrites.

*See earlier blog, “Dictation.”